Wide Awake
by Rachel Cabbit
Summary: Helga can't sleep - she's too haunted by the memories of Arnold. Yet despite the dreams of her beloved reminding her of her loneliness, she longs for that short space of time where they are reunited once again...


**Author Note: **_ This ficlet is a little something inspired by the song "Wide Awake" by Joe McElderry. I heartily recommend listening to the song either before, or as you are reading. You can find the song easily on youtube. It should also be available to download on itunes if you really like it ;) _

_But I digress. I hope you enjoy this story! xxx_

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><p><strong>Wide Awake<strong>

_A Hey Arnold! ficlet_**  
><strong>

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><p>Helga pulled the covers up further, sinking down into the soft folds of her bed sheets. Grey light filtered through her curtains from the street lamps outside and illuminated a strip of her room, and reminding her that it was very much a time for sleeping. Irritated, she flipped onto her side and curled up, willing herself to think sleepy thoughts.<p>

Instead she met with flashbacks and ghosts. She could see his face, blindingly beautiful, and smiling warmly at her as though she were something worthy of love. His green eyes shone like the light refracting from emeralds.

"Helga…" His voice whispered in her mind, driving her insane. Soft, sweet and full of affection. He reached out and she could almost feel his stroking her cheek gently. Like the first touch.

He leaned in and brushed her lips gently with his own. The first kiss.

"I think I love you…"

The tear slid down her cheek as that voice echoed in her mind. The first time he ever said it back.

She should have known it was all too good to last, but even just remembering that time of her life made her feel a sudden burst of happiness. She could remember how perfect it all felt. He loved her back, after all those years of loving him from afar. She felt the imprint on her lips, the heat of his hand holding hers, fingers intertwined. But the bliss was short-lived. Her happiest memories were tinged with bitterness.

She choked back a sob that threatened to escape her throat, and sat up abruptly. It was impossible to sleep. For weeks now, she had been finding it difficult. All because it brought back those memories – the reminder that on that day, when she opened her eyes and woke up, he was gone.

She'd known it was coming for a while. He'd told her about it as soon as he found out himself.

That day, she clambered in through the roof of the Boarding House, finding him lying face down on his bed.

"What's up, Football-Head?" She greeted, as usual, her old insult for him having become an affectionate nickname. "We were supposed to meet up half an hour ago at Slausen's." She jumped down through his skylight window and stood, arms folded, pretending to be mad. "You'd better have a good reason for standing me up."

He turned over and sat up, wiping his face. Panic flooded Helga's mind and she let her arms fall to her sides. His red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks pointed to only one thing. "H-have you been crying, Arnold?" She could have kicked herself for pointing out the obvious, but she couldn't remember seeing him cry before. Except for when they were in the jungle and she'd almost died. And when he was finally reunited with his parents. Whatever it was that had made him cry had to be big. She gulped. "Are you okay?"

Arnold nodded, wiping the last of the dampness from his cheeks and clearing his throat. He replied with a croaky voice.

"I guess so." He stood up and walked over to her. "I'm glad to see you though." He pulled her into a hug. It was desperate, warm and so tight she thought he was about to absorb her into his plaid shirt. She just hugged him back. She stroked his soft blonde spikes of hair and held him close until he pulled away reluctantly for air. She didn't know what to say. Still having no idea what had upset him, she could only ignore the ominous feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Arnold led her over to the bed, where she obediently sat beside him.

"We need to talk, Helga." He whispered, in a voice so choked with emotion, Helga felt like she would cry herself. Her heart began to sink, and she realised that this could be very serious indeed. Arnold held her hand atop the sheets of his bed. The feeling of his hand over hers was normally so comforting, but right now the atmosphere dispelled any comfort she may have felt. Her eyes widened. Was this it? He was breaking up with her? After two and a half years of dating, he was actually going to break her heart? Even after he told her that he..._loved_ her?

Her eyes began to prick with tears, a burning sensation building behind her eyes as she fought the urge. She nodded in confirmation that she was listening to him. His eyes looked so sad. So devastated. He couldn't be breaking up with her – why would he hurt himself like that? It had to be something else.

"My Dad got a new job." Arnold announced, startling Helga. She couldn't understand. Why was that so upsetting? "It's at a university in California." Then it dawned on her. "My parents are moving there in a fortnight's time. And… they want me to go with them."

Helga felt an extraordinary pain in her chest, like her heart had been ripped away. Then she remembered to take a breath. The burning in her eyes threatened to spill streaks of hot tears down her face but she gathered herself somehow.

"A-and do you want to go with them?" Her voice was tiny as she asked the question she dreaded the answer to.

He bit his lip and looked down at his lap.

"I-I think I do, Helga."

Helga understood. She knew how much his parents meant to him, and after so many years of being separated from them, how could she expect him to stay behind as they left him once again? No. She understood. What she couldn't understand is why she reacted so badly. The tears began to fall, and she began to shake. Her stomach twisted in knots and her chest ached. She had to tell herself to keep breathing.

"I'm sorry, Helga." His tear-filled eyes locked onto hers. She nodded and looked away, so he could not watch the tears fall.

"I know, Arnold. I know." She whimpered. "It's okay." She lied.

"But I want you to know that I will come back, Helga. I'll call you and write to you." He promised.

She could only nod. "This isn't the end. I won't let it be the end of us."

She found a smile twitch at her lips. She stood up to leave, scared that she would explode at any moment.

"I-I love you, Helga. That won't ever change."

Her heart leapt for that one moment. It wasn't the end. He still loved her.

She turned back and hugged him as hard as she could, finding his lips and capturing them with a hungry kiss. When she pulled back she knew she had to leave at that moment. If she didn't, she would end up going with him, whether his family liked it or not. She couldn't risk him seeing her break down though, and the tears were becoming harder and harder to fight against. The look he gave her made her want to never let go of him, for even a moment.

"I love you too, Football-Head. And don't you ever forget it."

Before he could say another word, she climbed back up through the skylight and disappeared across the roof.

Helga wiped away her tears and closed her eyes once more. As much as she dreaded the reminders of their separation, she also looked forward to seeing his face once again. There were letters, of course, and the occasional photograph. Gerald had even visited him for a few days and brought back some gifts and messages. There had been phone calls – she looked forward to hearing his voice each week when he called. Each time they ended their conversation it was with reaffirmations of their love. She knew she was still in his heart, but being so far away from him hurt her more than she thought, given that the situation could be much, much worse. He could be even further away; unable to call her and he could have ended their relationship there and then. But she believed in him, and in them. So despite the reminder of his being so far away, she did look forward to seeing him in her dreams. She couldn't wait to fall asleep.

And yet, she found sleep difficult to reach for the very same reason.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> _Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a review - they are much appreciated! xxx_


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